Life in CA

Hello hello!

Thank you to all who still steadfastly check in to this space, and I am sorry I've not updated it so there's something for you to see when you get here. There are a few reasons for my absence.

One, I think I needed time to be quiet and private. There's no secret that in this special and what has been safe (knock on wood) space, I've allowed myself to get very personal and very raw. And if you know me very well at all, you'll know that at my core, I am a pretty intensely private person. I have just become more comfortable being this way as I have gotten older. I don't really like bare-your-soul conversations, and while writing is my preferred mode of expression and can be like therapy, with the year that we have had, I wasn't ready to go there beyond what I've already shared.

That hasn't really changed, but this past year-plus has also been therapeutic in the sense that it has brought my hubby and me closer, and we've had a wonderful, healing time with our furry therapist Duane.

I've also been busy being a magazine Editor-in-Chief! I can reasonably say this is my dream job. I can't tell you how much I love what I do - it's like I finally found a position that takes all of my experience, abilities and passions into account in one title and job. There are always "buts" and the big one is, but, it's not home. LB is great and CA is great but at this time, the CA I am yearning for is CANADA.

Homesick? I guess. Not in the traditional sense though - it's more that we bought a house in Burnaby, back last winter, with a view to moving back in March. And when we decided to stay because of my great job, we knew we'd have to reno just a little it to make it more livable for eventual tenants. And when that slight reno turned into something more, and hubs and I came back a few times and spent some time (and serious effort on his part) there, we knew we missed it enough to do something about it.

So, we'll see. I am not making an big announcements here but I might be soon. Oh, well that's not really true. I CAN announce that...

...I'm pregnant again.

As I type that I have a small smile on my face. But just a small one. If you've been a reader of The Straight Poop, you'll understand how nerve-wracking and gut-wrenching this is after we lost our Henry.

I am on blood thinners, and we are proceeding with great caution, and careful optimism. I am 10 and a half weeks now, and baby is the size of a prune.

I didn't know if it was wise to share it in this public forum again but you people have been here for me in ways that I can never comprehend. Try explaining this to a non-blogger, but your support helped me through the darkest days.

I can't report on the latest developments, the ultrasounds and kicks, with breathless innocence anymore, but I'll let you know how we're all coming along.

And if you want to see what I've been up to, grab a coffee and sit down to TamaraMedia.com and of course, ModernGearTV.com. I post whenever I can...and I still need more readers!!

I hope you are all well. If you are reading this, PLEASE leave me a comment so I can get caught up with all of you.

Much love,
Tam